Coping With Grief during the Holidays

Coping With Grief DuringThe Holidays

Article written by Jean Goode-LCSW

At Zion’s Way Hospice

     Holidays and Anniversary dates are especially difficult when grieving the loss of a loved one.  Many people dread the holidays and wish they could by pass them all together.  Some tips from the Hospice Foundation of America on surviving the holidays are included here.

     Remember, we do have choices, we can decide what activities we wish to participate in, who we want to be with, and what we want to do.  We can choose how to mark the loss during the holidays by finding ways to recognize and acknowledge our loved one.  This may be done by lighting a candle, placing a memento on a tree, creating a ritual, or having a moment of silence or a holiday toast.

     Choose what is best for you whether to be part of the holiday spirit or not.  Honor your needs and your feelings.  Do only as much as you can.  Eventually you will heal and your memories will persist without pain.

     Communicate your choices with others, particularly those who are affected by them.  Their ways of dealing with grief may differ.  Once they understand your needs and feelings they may be more flexible.  Ask for what you need such as a shoulder to cry on or respect for your privacy.  It is natural to isolate yourself and feel alone in your pain, but don’t deprive loved ones of your presence.  Most people cope better with someone to walk with during this painful time.

     If you can, enjoy the holidays and every day.  Life is precious.  The best gift we can give ourselves is to live whole heartedly.